Beyond the “Right” Choice: Finding Resonance in Decision Making
- Jun 29
- 3 min read
I recently sat with a client who was experiencing an immense amount of angst. She was standing at a crossroads in her career, and the pressure she felt to make the "right" decision was visibly weighing her down. She was exhausted from spinning in circles, weighing endless pros and cons, and worrying about the expectations of everyone around her.
In coaching, when a client is stuck in the trap of right versus wrong, we often need to change the vocabulary.
So, I offered her a different lens. Instead of asking which choice was "right," I invited her to explore which choice brought a sense of resonance, and which brought a sense of dissonance.
The energy in the room immediately shifted. It was a true a-ha moment for her. The heavy burden of objective perfection lifted, replaced by a deep, internal curiosity.
But then she leaned in with a brilliant question. She asked, "What if the resonant choice still feels incredibly difficult?"
Resonant Does Not Mean Easy
It is a common misconception that when we finally align with our true path, the friction disappears and everything becomes easy. But that is simply not the case.
A resonant choice does not equal an easy choice. It simply means the choice is in deep alignment with the values that truly matter to you.
Setting a firm boundary with a family member, walking away from a comfortable but unfulfilling job, or stepping into a new leadership role that scares you are all incredibly difficult things to do. They require courage, vulnerability, and sometimes sacrifice. But if they align with your core values, they are deeply resonant choices.
Dissonance, on the other hand, is the feeling of friction against your own truth. It is the path of "shoulds" and external expectations. It is the choice that might look perfect on paper but leaves you feeling hollow, drained, or constantly second-guessing yourself.
How to Tap Into Your Own Compass
To navigate change successfully, you have to learn how to identify the subtle differences between these two states. It requires you to pause, step out of the swirling thoughts in your head, and tune into your body.
Here is how you can begin to explore what resonance and dissonance feel like for you:
Notice the Dissonance: Think about a time you agreed to something you did not want to do. How did your body react? Dissonance often feels like a tightening. It is a clenched jaw, a knot in your stomach, or a heavy weight sitting on your chest. It is a feeling of shrinking, restriction, or forcing a puzzle piece into a space where it simply does not fit.
Notice the Resonance: Now think about a time you made a choice that felt deeply authentic to who you are, even if it was scary. How did that feel? Resonance usually feels like expansion. Even if your heart is beating fast with nervousness, there is an underlying sense of grounding. Your breath might come a little easier. There is a sense of clarity, a quiet internal nod that says, "Yes, this is the way."
The next time you are faced with a heavy decision, try putting the pros and cons list away for a moment. Close your eyes, visualize each option, and pay attention to what happens in your body. Are you expanding, or are you contracting?
The Cusp of Your Next Decision
When we let go of the pressure to be perfectly "right," we free ourselves up to be truly authentic. Making decisions from a place of resonance is how we turn deep insight into forward momentum. It is not always the path of least resistance, but it is always the path that leads back to you.
I will leave you with this question to carry with you this week:
Where in your life are you currently trying to force a "right" decision, when what you really need is to uncover the resonant one?
If you are navigating a difficult choice and feel stuck in the dissonance, you do not have to figure it out alone. Sometimes, we just need a safe space to process the noise so we can finally hear our own voice.
I invite you to book a free chemistry session. Let's explore what resonance looks like for you, together.
