My Cusp of Coaching: When Fulfillment Calls

A few years ago, I watched from the sidelines as friends of mine built something extraordinary - a cozy, vibrant bistro brought to life through vision, care, and intention. They dreamed it into being - imagining how it would look, feel, sound, even smell. I cheered them on, proud of what they were creating. But quietly, comparison crept in.

They had taken the leap. I hadn’t. I told myself I didn’t have what it takes - no clear “talent,” no business degree, no big idea. Safer to stay where I was.

And honestly? Things were good. I had built a successful career in science - a PhD in cell biology, 12+ years in biotech, meaningful work in learning and development, a great team, and all the external markers of stability.

But under the surface, I was stuck. 

I called it “good enough.” I told myself not to rock the boat. I repeated familiar mantras: Stay in your lane, Brian. Be grateful. Don’t rock the boat.

But the truth was: something in me was starting to shift.

Centering: 

That shift became louder last year, after I lost many colleagues through multiple rounds of layoffs. Though I was not affected directly, the ground beneath me felt less stable. I found myself grappling with guilt, fear, and the haunting question: What would I do if I were next?

One night, I had dinner with a friend who had been let go. I expected to offer her comfort - a listening ear and some wine. But instead, I found someone lighter, clearer, more grounded than ever. She spoke with clarity about her decision to train as a professional coach - something she’d longed to return to.

Her certainty hit like a 5 am alarm clock! 

It was the same feeling I had watching my friends open their bistro: clarity, momentum, purpose. And this time, I wasn’t just admiring from the sidelines. I felt something crack open inside me.

Uncovering:

Envy. 

That was the word that surfaced. Not resentment - just raw, vulnerable envy. They had stepped into fulfillment. I hadn’t.

And rather than push it away, I followed it.

I started asking deeper questions:

What would fulfillment look like for me?

What do I want to feel at the end of the day?

What kind of work makes me feel most alive?

Sourcing: 

That set off the most transformative year of my life.

Through coaching, reflection, and one very sticky metaphor (a “comfortable hole,” for those who know), I came home to something I hadn’t let myself admit:

I don’t just want to coach. 

I need to.

There’s something profoundly meaningful about walking alongside someone as they sit on their own cusp of change — guiding them as they ask bold questions, reconnect with their truth, and begin to shift.

There’s no way to fully describe how fulfilling that is. But if you’ve experienced it, you’ll know what I mean.

Propelling: 

Today, I’m standing on my own cusp. 

Leaning into the unknown. Training professionally.

Coaching clients. Building something new.

And I feel all of it - the excitement, the doubt, the purpose, the fear. My inner allies and saboteurs are in full voice. But this time, I’m not turning away. I’m here for all of it.

So if any part of this story resonates with you - if you’re asking questions, feeling restless, or noticing that quiet tug toward something more - trust it.

That’s your cusp.

Let’s explore it together. 

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